Letter to Chloe

 This letter was written to my sister Chloe who had just arrived in Nigeria. This letter is also in response to Francis Chan's book Crazy Love. This book opened my eyes up to Christ's love for each of us, individually, and gave me a new perspective on writing about and receiving God's ultimate message for us.
To find out more about Crazy Love: http://www.crazylovebook.com/index.html


Dear Sister,

YOU ARE IN AFRICA. Africa! Like the place Shakira sings about and the nation Jesus speaks about.

Your life is about to be changed. Your personal forever and ever will be impacted right now, through this experience. I am so glad you’re there. I want you to remember that God intended this trip for a purpose. Think about it, before you were even thought of, He knew that you would be going on this trip. Thus He planned events that would open doors and windows for you to crawl right through. Remember, Ephesians 2:10 says that we were created, “ to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” Here is your very own assignment from Christ- your chance to be such a beautiful vessel for Him and such a beaming light for others. You are the most beautiful, passionate, curious and eager person I know. I look up to you in so many ways and there are so many things that I cannot wait to see you do in life. One of them is this, to be changed while changing others.

Being in Nigeria even for just a short while so far, you have already seen things that will stay in your mind forever. As they should. This trip is your very own whisper. Something that will stay with you, and silently remind you of why you are alive and why you are a follower of Jesus Christ. Twenty years from now you will still hear this silent melody in your head, refusing to let you forget the beauty of our King and the destruction of poverty. 

You’re going to get nervous. Sometimes, you’re not going to know exactly what to say. Sometimes, you will want to do something, but you’re not going to know exactly how to go about doing it. Sometimes, you’re going to want to cry. Sometimes, you will. But all the time, God is able. God is able, God is able, God is able, God is able. So unbelievable able. To the point where He could literally defeat death. To the point where He could create the entire universe, each and every blade of grass and each and every body of water, and still give a rip about little old you.  To the point where He could provide $1,800 in less than 24 hours for me to go to Haiti, while using you as an instrument that allowed me to get there. God is able. When you feel all of those ‘sometimes’ pop up in your head- remember this:

“Ah, Sovereign Lord, “ I said, “ I do not know how to speak; I am only a child.”

But the Lord said to me, “ Do not say, ‘ I am only a child.’ You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you. Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you, “ declares the Lord. Then the Lord reached out his hand and touched my mouth and said to me, “Now I have put my words in your mouth. See, today I appoint you over nations and kingdoms to uproot and tear down, to destroy and overthrow, to build and to plant.” – Jeremiah 1:6-10

“Do not say, ‘ I am only a child’.”  Jeremiah’s fear was mainly being too young, too ignorant, too immature to reach other people. You may or may not struggle with the same fear. It might be the fear of feeling guilty, the fear of being a hypocrite because of your personal sin. This fear is one of my biggest, but I tell you it is one of the most powerful and most dangerous kind of fear there is.  I think we talked about this before, but if every person waited until they felt perfectly confident in their walk with Christ- there would be no pastors today. Christ knows your heart Chloe, He knows your desires and He knows your needs. He knows that sin is the root of destruction and that You have sinned incredibly over the years. But He knows that His mercy for you is more than enough and He wants you to shake that sin and doubt off and get up. Seriously, He wants you to get up. This trip, is you getting up. How exciting! All your sin, all your doubt, all your personal struggles have been taken and put in a bag by your God Almighty. He zipped it up, and threw it out. He left that baggage back in America, back in the garbage disposal near your house. In fact, I saw a garabage man today and his truck seemed pretty full. It’s all gone.

Nigeria is now your clean slate. Here, you can be whoever you want to be- you can be a radical follower of Jesus Christ. You can be a constant speaker of His name. You can talk to those people with God’s words because He will touch your mouth when you ask him to, I promise. Pray for His wisdom to flow off your tongue, so smoothly, so accurately. This is your chance to be on fire for Christ more than you ever have- and to be so open, so vulnerable to any sights He wants you to see, any sounds He wants you to hear, and any people He wants you to meet. He is in love with your heart already, and you have already been such a joy for Him in the way you have lived your life so far. I am just challenging you to go deeper. So deep that He will be made so apparent to you through all of the things you will see on this trip.

Poverty is scary, and sad and constant. Jesus said that there will always be poverty in this world we live. He also says that we must do all that we can to help. He says that, Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke? Is it not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter– when you see the naked, to clothe him, and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?" Isaiah 58 :6-7.  You are doing just that. I know that traveling is exciting, being with a group of people is always fun, and living in a different place for a change can be incredible. I know all of these things played a role in you wanting to go to Africa. But I also know that your heart for those less fortunate than you is breaking and that this place is exactly where you needed to go because you needed to do something about these things you see and hear about all the time. You needed to get off your butt and make a change, no matter what size- just make one. That is so beautiful and for that our own Jesus Christ is smiling right now. All He wants is our hearts and because your heart is His, you desire His very own desires. The fact that that is even possible is astounding. I will be praying for you every day that you are gone, so that you will be reminded, encouraged, broken and set on fire.

I love you to the moon and back again, up and right back down again.

  Tess

How To Pray Like A Bird

Last summer, I had this amazing moment on my front porch with plums, iced water, a bible, a journal, and really muddy feet. And it hit me, that I needed to live a life of continual prayer. Not like, praying when it's easy, or even praying when it's hard, or when I'm thankful. Something so much deeper, like...how I would want to talk to someone about every single thing. That's how it should be. But, ever so often, it isn't.And I get that. And that is usually what keeps most from prayer, because the words seem so distant, even fake sometimes.

That's what kept me for so long. Not that I didn't pray, I did. But it wasn't passionate, the words were all empty and pointless. Then I read something I had written about a year ago, how praying should be like breathing. If it is He who sustains us, how could oxygen alone keep us alive? Like, aliiveee alive. You know?

And then there was the analogy I heard, of a bird. A talking bird, perhaps? Talking birds, along with all other birds, hang out on trees. Or..telephone lines. And when these birds are hanging out, their feet are grasped on to their foundation, and their knees are bent just enough to find a balance.

That’s how we should live. With our knees constantly bent, and grasping on to what He says.

So, now I’m switching things up a bit. Out of the 24 hours in my day, giving Him a mere hour is not even close in comparison to what He deserves. He didn't call us to love Him sometimes, and although we've all heard that before, it never hit me so hard. It's logic.

Asking the random guy sitting next to me at Starbucks to give me advice on my personal problems, while bawling my eyes out, probably wouldn't go too smoothly. In fact, it would feel awkward, and distant. But asking my best friend to guide me with advice on those things, would make sense. It would be honest, and genuine, and she'd probably even hand me a tissue. There is a comfort there. Because we know each other, because there is trust, and because there is a relationship established and built.

 I won’t go another day without having that time alone with Him. The two hours I spent on my porch, made me realize so many things. One being that I needed to believe in my heart what I believed so much in my head and that was, getting to Haiti. I had spent last summer in the decision of not going to Haiti again, due to lack of money and a full schedule. But this truth hit me like a rock- God is able. I remember scribbling and scribbling those words over and over again in my journal. God is able. God is able. God is able.

 I swallowed this truth, I consumed and digested this idea fully. Not just in my head, but in my heart- no more bull. No more bible verses that hit the shallow end of everyone's because-the-Bible-tells-me-so waters. I really got it, for the first time- I knew that I was supposed to go on this trip. I, the worst decision maker I know, the most dramatic pro and con lister, was at peace about a major decision. God is able.

So I took that ability that God so freely pours down upon each of us daily. I took it in a cup and  He filled it to the brim. "Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him, and he will ACT."(Psalms 37:5) And He did just that. Although my balance of money was zero at three o’clock the day before, once I decided I was going and believed it with all that I am-God was able.

In less than 24 hours, my account was filled with $1,800.

At 5 AM that morning, I was on my flight returning back to Haiti, to learn things and see things that will forever break my heart and that will forever alter the way I live, the way I pray.

He's real, and faithful. And I swear to you birds, that He sustains. He breaks and molds too, I don't know how but I know He's real. Like, really really real. And He is able.

Jordan's Senior Pictures

Hello friends!

I just finished this graduation shoot with the beautiful Jordan Yoder. We had a blast wandering around Boerne, Tx as we searched for the perfect places to shoot. I was back home for the weekend and this sunny Saturday was just fabulous for capturing Jordan's personality.

Jordan is one of my close friends from high school (old). She's so bright, always full of energy, and she loves sprinkles. Her love for people and her desire to spread light onto other peoples' lives is contagious. Jordan is planning to go to DBU this fall as she continues to seek God's will for her life. It was a blast getting to spend this time with her. We turned on Regina Spektor's album, "Far", and chalked up old brick walls. 

Instead of making senior pictures a drag- make a day of it! Try not to squeeze anything into a tight time frame, and  try things that will make your pictures different and more “you”. It helps to have someone you know taking the pictures, so it isn’t as awkward as the process tends to be. Just make it a fun day where a nice camera just happens to tag along!

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Well,
It seems blogging is the way to express, assess and often de-stress so,here it goes.


I love realism and rants, and writing metaphorically. Photography, videography and expression without limitation. Justice and art and every sticky issue that is bundled up in the corners between the two.  Creativity in every form, and the reason to believe. There will be plenty of that here in this little world I'll play god in when late nights roll around or a possible good lyric or two catches my ear.


Two Truths:


1. I have found the best study/focus/get off facebook album. As much as I love music and as much as it gets me through my days, I cannot sleep nor can I study effectively while listening to most music. However, Jonsi's album, "GO" is the perfect album to keep me focused and inspired. The album is hard to explain, in that it can't possibly fit into one genre. I'd say it's an eruption of english and icelandic cosmos, blasting colorful paint strokes through the ears up to the canvasminds of all who listen. It's the perfect background music for your history exam cram. It's the perfect my speakers seriously can't get any louder stimulus when you're feeling artsy. 


2. Arm and Hammer toothpaste is the best tasting toothpaste to ever be invented. If you're looking for that squeaky clean feeling, take a chance with both an arm and a hammer. The baking soda is proven to enhance those pearly whites! I mean, this stuff is used to scrub unspeakables off your microwave plate and thus is bound to make healthy progress on all 32 of your own little buddies desperate for that tingly sensation.


And a lie: 
blue plus green makes pink, if you mix them laying upside down. 



Tune of Today:
Boy Lilikoi- Jonsi


Here's to blogging!


"The LORD is good, a strong hold in the day of trouble; and he knows them that trust in him.” – Nahum 1:7